© you're so funny!

thanks ! i almost fell from a 9 storey building while playing holi with my friends, in grade 6. idk who saved me but i remember getting pushed in a bucket of colored water after that.

thanks ! the lore i carry, are the things that actually happened to me. my parents n know nothing about whatever i wrote here except, where i have mentioned them. i have no plans on telling anything to them, any time soon. thank you.

thanks ! got chased by a group of seniors in grade 7, because we threw water balloons on their vehicles. valid because we did that on purpose.

Why are there so many illegal Haitians in Ohio? They can't walk here. Democrats flew them here to cause chaos and crime in Ohio.

thanks ! tata’s nano used to be my favorite car ever. its so cute, you cannot change my mind.

thanks ! i am disgustingly self aware, there's nothing i haven't already over-thought about.

thanks ! i once got sent back home because the receptionist thought i was in grade 8. i was in grade 11, thank you.

‘Lilo & Stitch’ to Battle ‘Ballerina’ for Box Office Crown as ‘John Wick’ Spinoff Targets $30 Million Opening Weekend - Variety

thanks ! a car ran over my 4 year old self because, my frens had challenged me by saying ‘you cannot cross the road without help.’ guess what? i proved their point. my parents know nothing about this episode.

thanks ! omw from school, i jumped out of the moving van because, i thought we stopped. embarrassing. i did not get hurt but my fren started to bawl.

thanks ! i once turned so red after an awkward situation, that my teacher took me to the medical room, to check if i had fever.

How many women have accidentally pooped their pants and became turned on afterwards?

thanks ! i kicked a guy who was three years senior to me, in the balls while playing kabaddi in the school playground because, he made fun of my hg for not having a father. deserved.

thanks ! it's still a mystery that, why i haven't broken any bones, considering the way i live.

thanks ! my mum made me visit a psychologist when i was 5 because, she thought i was crazy for liking movies with violence. question mark question mark.

Do you regret being married to your current wife?

thanks ! i yap fast, i eat fast, i walk fast. i walk really fast, i hate slow walkers.

thanks ! my ex best friend stopped talking to me after i opened up something very personal to her. she was forcing me to tell, so i did. and she said ‘i can't stay frens with someone who has gone through that ew.’ OKAY.

thanks ! i once punched a guy in grade 6, and one of his teeth disappeared. we're still in touch and he has a denture, thank you.

Campbell’s Snack Business Struggles as Consumers Get Pickier About Food Spending - WSJ

side note : this is a slight trauma dump and heavy silly shit, so don't come at me ty.

thanks ! i am the way i am because my dad accidentally banged my head against the wall when i was 3, while playing with me.

thanks ! i almost got k!dnapp3d last year.

New Jersey Man Arrested for Stealing Instruments From Heart - Rolling Stone

thanks ! i have a useless talent of memorizing and recognising footsteps. if i am meeting someone for the first time and i hear their footsteps, i’ll know what their steps sound like when i meet them, next.